How to be an HIV ally
How to be an HIV ally

The dos and don’ts to creating a safer space for people living with HIV

Sharing a positive HIV diagnosis takes incredible courage. People living with HIV need an understanding and supportive space to share their experiences. How can we respond and be better allies?

Follow this list of dos and don’ts to create a safer space for people living with HIV.

DO practice empathy

A friend or loved one just told you they are HIV positive.

Put yourself in their shoes. Sharing your HIV status is a deeply personal part of someone’s life. How would you feel if you got this news? How would you feel disclosing it to your close friends?

Instead of saying: “I’m so sorry that happened to you, I can’t believe it.”

Try: “I’m grateful to you for sharing this with me – how are you feeling?”  

DO ask how you can support

Think of the times you’ve been down with a cold. Your friends or family probably brought you soup, fruit or medicine without you having to ask.

Instead of saying: “Let me know if you need anything.”

Try: “I want to help. How can I support you?”

Even small gestures like medication reminders or preparing a meal for your loved one go a long way in showing your support.

DO listen and learn

Everyone deals with their diagnosis differently. While some may want to express their frustration, others may not want to discuss it at all. Follow their lead and be prepared to support them when the time comes.

Instead of asking your loved one uncomfortable questions about their diagnosis, try connecting with them in ways you did before they told you their status. Show them you see them as a person.

DON’T use words like clean or dirty

Language matters when talking about HIV. Words like “clean” or “dirty” when referring to HIV status further the stigma around it. When asking someone about their HIV status:

Instead of: “Are you clean?”

Try: “When was your last HIV test? Do you know your status?”

DON’T ask how they got it

If they don’t choose to share how they contracted HIV with you, it is best not to ask. The way they got HIV is their business only. They might not know, or it may be linked to a traumatic event and bring up painful memories.

Instead of saying, “How did it happen? Do you know who gave it to you?”

Try: Listening to them and learning more about transmission methods.

Get educated

Now that you understand the dos and don’ts, acknowledge that someone living with HIV is no different from anyone else. They’re still the same person you knew before you knew their status, so be open-minded, positive and supportive.

To learn more, see our page for blogs on the basics of HIV and other helpful topics.

Remember, their HIV status doesn’t define them. Just like any chronic illness, it’s something to manage, not a reflection of a person.

Becoming an ally can help HIV-positive people get into care and thrive with HIV.

Keep Reading:

A voice for the transmasculine community

by | Nov 13, 2023 | HIV,Individual Health | 0 Comments

Sybastian Smith – Organizer, decision maker and advocate for transgender HIV+ healthcare “If we don’t care for our most marginalized communities, we’re no stronger than...

“I’M NOT HIV”

by | Oct 19, 2023 | Individual Health | 0 Comments

Host, HIV Advocate – Johneri’O Scott shares how to learn to love yourself and your status “I wish more people understood that your status doesn’t define you, you define...

melissa strype image

Let’s Talk about Sex: Melissa Strype

by | Jul 18, 2023 | HIV | 0 Comments

Comedian and sex educator shares her tips for STD testing Sexual health educator by day and comedian by night, Melissa Strype’s unique approach to taboo topics has...

testing day

Duck HIV and celebrate National HIV Testing Day by knowing your status

by | Jun 27, 2023 | HIV | 0 Comments

15 questions to ask when getting tested We get it – it can be scary talking about your sexual life with others or your medical provider. But it doesn't have to...

TCHIV Pride

We see you, we celebrate you: Pride Month 2023

by | Jun 1, 2023 | HIV | 0 Comments

This Pride Month join the fight against HIV! June is Pride Month – a time to celebrate the diversity, activism, culture, and accomplishments of the LGBTQIA+ community...

Your mental health matters!

Your mental health matters!

by | May 1, 2023 | HIV,Individual Health | 0 Comments

Manage your mental health while living with HIV May is Mental Health Awareness Month! Mental health, like HIV, has a stigma around it which can discourage people from...

How to be an HIV ally

How to be an HIV ally

by | May 1, 2023 | HIV | 0 Comments

The dos and don’ts to creating a safer space for people living with HIV Sharing a positive HIV diagnosis takes incredible courage. People living with HIV need an...

Thinking about getting tested? 4 reasons why you should

by | Apr 28, 2023 | Individual Health | 0 Comments

Why do I need to test for HIV? If you’re sexually active, regular STI testing should be a part of your sexual health. HIV stigma frames HIV testing as shameful but...

How to talk to your parents about HIV testing

How to talk to your parents about HIV testing

by | Apr 7, 2023 | HIV,Individual Health | 0 Comments

National Youth HIV/AIDS Awareness Day – April 10 As we celebrate National Youth HIV/AIDS Awareness Day on April 10, it’s important to discuss this generation’s...